Can’t be slowing down already…

Hurm.

Haven’t posted in a hot minute because of things related to me getting various projects done, which prevents me from working on other projects. Such as updating this blog. But here’s my status report from this post:

• Secret project that I came up with a couple of weeks back and don’t want to talk about is actually going extremely swimmingly. It involves me writing a lot, which is fantastic, and we’ll hopefully be going into the editing phase within the next week or so, and then I’ll get to implement it. As soon as that’s going, I’ll start talking more about the nature of the project, its origins, and then, shortly thereafter, I’ll share it with you all. Until it starts getting implemented, though, I don’t want to jinx it. I’m superstitious like that.
• Book Club is not as up and running as I’d really like it to be, as in not, but I plan on getting that all started extremely soon. But that’s not so tough because I’ve got people counting on me.
• I figure the mix is done, as it is in the ‘tester’ phase. I’m not going to try to clean up the “Bump” to “Fancy Claps” transition because I…can’t. It’s not going easily, and I just don’t think it’s a good use of my time. I’ll upload it without the “tester” modifier, and make it a permanent fixture of the Music section.

I guess the #2 use of my time has been the secret project, but the not-so-secret project that is the Omega Wolf show that goes up this weekend has been #1 of late. I’ve been promoting like hell, though not on here, sadly. I don’t know why I said “sadly”, as my readership consists partly of people who are probably (hopefully) already going, and partly of people who don’t live here. However, since my promotion machine is in full effect, I feel obligated to say the following:

Omega Wolf Productions presents:
The Office Window
a Tragical Romp Through History
or
a Historical Romp Through Tragedy
(a sketch comedy show)

Saturday, September 1 and Thursday, September 6 at 7:00 pm (doors open at 6:00 pm)

The Bryant-Lake Bowl
810 W. Lake Street
Minneapolis, MN 55408

Tickets available at the door, $8-12 (pay what you want)/$6 with a student ID.

Check us out on MySpace.

In short, it’s a sketch comedy show, with the theme of tragedies throughout history as seen from an office window (our title was almost “Tragedies Throughout History As Seen From an Office Window”, but it was deemed too long. It was also almost “Death of a Salesman and Many Others”, which I hated for a variety of reasons, but others thought was brilliant). I wrote two sketches. I’m not in it for a variety of reasons that I’d rather not get into (although I’ll say it had everything to do with me, and not that I’m on the outs with the troupe in any respect, so don’t go thinking that).

I’ve been promoting it like hell. If you’ve seen me of late, chances are I’ve given you a handbill. If you’ve been in Uptown lately you’ve seen posters that I hung up (you’d better have fucking seen them) (sidenote: while out putting up posters this past weekend, I saw a poster that I hung up for our last show, Murder at Death Cabin, at Lake and Aldrich. That was six months ago.).

I’ve also been doing some sound designing, by which I mean I’ve been downloading sound clips and putting them together using garageband to make them more dynamic. It’s ridiculously fun. I got to create two battle background tracks (as heard from the Office Window): one for a 20th Century battle, one for a 19th Century battle. I got one clip by recording something from YouTube through my computer’s microphone. The first clip I created was for one of my sketches, and it involved layering seven different versions of a sound (that I downloaded from one of the absurdly many royalty-free sound effect websites), tracking down the right nature sound (the problem with people who put up royalty-free sound effects is that they like realistic sounds. And that’s good, I suppose. But I really prefer more sensationalized sounds. Like, real-life sounds are actually kind of ambiguous without the proper visual sometimes, but when you go to a show, when you hear something that I picked out, I want you to go “Oh, that’s definitely a pebble bouncing across the water” in stead of “what is that? Is that a bubble popping?” Like, most guns sound depressingly like popcorn.), and throwing on a Sisters of Mercy (the band, not the nuns) song sample. If I continue making sound effects (and I’d like to, which means I probably will. That’s how Omega Wolf works.), I doubt any will be as fulfilling as that one.

(Sorry if the overuse of parenthetical statements was distracting in that last paragraph. While writing it, I lost track of where the original sentences were going several times.)

But I’m really pumped for the show, and I hope as many people can go see it as possible. I know I love it.

I start working tomorrow (after a five fucking month respite). Wish me luck.

I really want to see this.

So, remaking a children’s show into a feature-length movie. Ok. I mean, when was the last time Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was relevant (this may be the greatest teaser trailer ever created.)? I don’t know. But they put out a movie. Transformers was an awesome cartoon in my youth, and then they’ve redone that one a few times. And then they did the movie (this may be a close second).

Clearly, though, you’re shooting for my specific demographic, here: People (usually males) who watched cartoons in the mid-80’s. What’s next? Mask? Masters of the Universe? Some random cartoon I used to watch in middle school? (Seriously, I don’t know where that thing came from. That’s the weirdest idea I’ve ever heard).

No, it’s this. Which I used to be into forever ago. Actually, it’s been around for long enough that my dad could have been into it when he was a kid (actually, when he was, like, in college, so probably not, but I only said that for effect. 1958.). But I still think they’re shooting for my demographic. Why? Watch the teaser. See, it’s got Jason Lee in it. Who’s, like, totally appealing to people my age. That’s number 1. Number 2, however, is the last bit of the trailer (there’s a pun in here somewhere). I mean, what the fuck are they thinking? That may be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in a trailer, ever. That’s something I haven’t seen happen on Jackass. And they did it in a children’s movie.

But that just makes me want to see it more.

In other news: Go see The Ten from the State’s peoples, and also go see Superbad from Camp Apatow.

I tried my best to put it quickly on viiiiiibraaaaate

I hope you’re all aware of this.

I’m spending today on three projects.

#1 is something I came up with yesterday, and haven’t really stopped thinking about since. I’m not going to talk about it yet, but it’s very exciting, and I hope to talk about it soon.

#2 is the book club. Since putting out several notes to determine interest, I feel like I’ve got enough to start actually planning this thing. I’ve created a page to manage the book club on. It’s sparse for the moment, but I’ll be keeping track of things on there once we get rolling. Actually, this seems like a job for Google Groups. But if it comes to that, I’ll probably keep the page anyway.

#3 is hopefully finishing the mix I’ve been working on. I think there’s only one transition I really think needs work, and a second that could use some tweaking, but I’m pretty satisfied with it as a whole. Then I can start working on the next one. Woo hoo!

My fears have been Stardustbusted

Loved it.

Nearly everything I could ask for in an adaptation– omitting in all the right places, adding stuff appropriately. It just worked. It was sheer brilliance. And unlike Potter, I didn’t mind the changes they made whatsoever. It stands alone, as its own piece of work, in the true spirit of its source material. Yes, they gave it a happier ending (the book’s ending wasn’t necessarily sad, but bittersweet), but an ending that worked. The big stars didn’t call in performances, but knocked them out of the park, and the lead actors did fantastically as well. I loved this movie. Go see it.

I’m talking about Stardust, by the way. In case you didn’t read the last post.

Let’s start with De Niro. Invoking his Brazil character, Archibald “Harry” Tuttle, De Niro shows not only that he can be a hardass, but that he can be a softie at literally the same time. His character twist was so beautifully executed, and he carried his way through the flick with finesse and comfort and elegance.

Speaking of elegance, Michelle Pfeiffer lacked it perfectly. Cold and cunning, with a desperate wish and a sad motivation, she was an understandable villainess, relishing every moment on screen.

The princes worked well, being much more comedic than their novelized counterparts, which was a change I found very appropriate. I mean, you can’t do a movie like this without the humorous elements, and I’m glad that they weren’t as dark an aspect of they flick as they very easily could have been.

And I praise the performance of relative newcomer Charlie Cox as the lead. He captured Tristan Thorn perfectly. I was glad they went with an unknown. He was perfectly bright-eyed, and full of dreams, and optimistic. Being young and in love, and ensuingly stupid. He was just dopey, with bravado. He was just a young man, no more or less enlightened, but living in an interesting place at an interesting time.

And I even liked Claire Danes as Yvaine. I definitely think it helped that it was a fantasy/period piece and that she was far enough removed from Angela Chase that I wasn’t looking for that. She was doing something different, not playing a young quirky woman in love, but a crabby star who wishes she was in the sky, who learns to be human. She performed beautifully, learning how to hurt and how to love.

Plus, Ricky Gervais did a great turn as a period-appropriate Ricky Gervais.

Go see it. Please.

The problem with the Danes.

I netflixed (Can I say “rented”? Because it feels like renting, only by mail-order. No, internet-order-mail-delivered. But I feel like I’m renting a movie. I dunno.) Shopgirl because I thought it would be funny. You see, when you take two comedic actors (Steve Martin and Jason Schwartzman) and put them in a movie with a pretty girl (Claire Danes), it’s usually a comedy. Like Chuck and Larry (Sandler, James, Biel) or Wedding Crashers (Vaughn, Wilson, McAdams, with Isla Fischer thrown in there, but she’s one of those pretty actresses that just likes doing comedy), but it wasn’t funny. I mean, I liked it. There was a lot of quarter-life-crisis/why-doesn’t-anybody-love-me stuff that I totally dig, plus the character interaction was beautiful, the acting spectacular. The appearance of the thing was spotty. There were some shots that didn’t work. Like, they were trying to be pretty, but there was some obvious effects work. It pulled me out of the movie. Then during some of the more gorgeous parts of the movie, they throw Steve Martin narration over, saying some of the most contrived things I’ve ever heard, which was extremely jarring, especially considering that he’s in the movie. When you hear someone’s voice explaining what his character is thinking in the third person, it’s weird. I mean, it’s based on a novella written by Martin, so it makes sense for him to do the narration, but then don’t make him a character. At least he didn’t direct it, too, or it would have been masturbation.

But the main reason I bring Shopgirl up is because of Claire Danes. Claire Danes is an actress that I regard highly, and every time I hear about something she’s in, I think “Oh. I should see that.” And I think it goes back to My So-Called Life. Angela Chase. (sidenote: One of my favorite things about that show was the character “Tino” who is always mentioned, but never seen. I’ve had a few instances in my life where I hear about someone without actually meeting them, and I consider them my “Tinos”. I invariably end up meeting them, despite my sometime efforts to the contrary, and they’re always cool (as evidenced by the fact that they’re constantly brought up), but there’s always some pang of disappointment that they’re no longer my “Tino”.) But I’m always somewhat let down when I see her in things. Actually, I liked her in the Luhrmann Romeo + Juliet, but I haven’t seen that since I was 14. But it’s like she’s too…something. Like she tries too hard. And it’s distracting.

And today Stardust comes out. And I’ve been looking forward to this since I heard it was announced, because I’m a big fan of the original illustrated novel, by Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess. (It’s not a graphic novel, as it’s prose, but it’s illustrated, and it’s by a comic book/fantasy writer who I love. At some point, they took out all of the drawings and released it as a novel, seemingly to give it cred.). Claire Danes has a starring role, as a star. And I’m concerned. I want to like this movie. I want everyone to like this movie. And I’ve heard ridiculously good things about it. But I’m worried. I’ll find out this weekend, I suppose.

I want to start a book club.

Who’s with me!?!

Seriously. I want to start a book club. We meet, like, every two weeks. We read a book, and then we talk about it. They don’t have to be all intellectual. I don’t care. It’s more about the meeting and the talking (and drinking. We can meet at a bar. Or a coffee shop. Or a coffee shop that serves beer.), based on what I’ve heard about book clubs. It’ll be fun.

I should post these before YouTube gets shut down.

I don’t know why these are so funny. But they are. Except for #3. #3 is awkward. They’re trying too hard.

Unforgivable #1
Unforgivable #2

I went through a phase where I was trying to look up these recut trailers, and most of them are comedies that get turned into thrillers. This one stands out:

Shining

And I know I posted this on the old blog, but I love it, and it’s worth it:

Toy Story: Requiem

Watch the first one, then the second:

Apache
Apache Ultimate Re-Remix

And I’m going to embed this one, because Omega Wolf made it:

wardisco

So why’d I call it “This is how I War/This is how I Disco”?

That was going to be the name of my first EP.

Seriously. I wanted to record some sort of dance record and call it “This is how I War/This is how I Disco”. But when I realized that I had very little hope of actually doing this, I decided it would make a good name for a blog. Mostly I thought it sounded cool. And I continue to think this.

To me, “war” is how we go about our lives, doing the things we need to, and “disco” is how we enjoy ourselves. There are everyday struggles–work, relationships, money– that we have to get through. And in a lot of ways, it is a never ending battle. But we all enjoy ourselves, too. This is a dichotomy we’ve all experienced, between what we have to do, and what we like to do, and how both drive the other. So when I say “This is how I War/This is how I Disco”, I’m saying this is how I live life.

And I love dance music. So I say “Disco” to mean “enjoy myself”.

Also, I changed themes, because there were a few things that bothered me about that last one. If you had a chance to see it…I was about to say “consider yourself lucky”, but I didn’t really like it, so I’ll just say “I’m sorry”. Anyway, I like this one better, even if the dates are really weird.

Oh, this other thing…

I completely did not address why I moved. Seems somewhat important.

If you’re me.

But since I’m the kind of self-indulgent prick who writes a damn blog, and you’re the kind of voyeuristic pseudo-stalker who reads my blog, I guess that makes it kind of important to you, too. Hm?

I thought so.

I’ve kind of wanted to move over to WordPress for a while, long before I stopped blogging, but since my thing was kind of established (among both of you reading this, of course), I didn’t want to change URLs, because that’s annoying. I liked blogger, I could work with it just fine, and it was fine, whatever. So I stayed there.

But then came the ol’ hiatus, as described below, so as I was thinking of blogging again, I decided to just start afresh. I’m not going to take down any of the old stuff, so if there’s something you really want to re-read (poop), it’s still there. But I’m here now. So get used to it.

In terms of the, like, day that I’ve been working with WordPress, there are a lot of things I like, some things I liked better with Blogger. But I’m overall satisfied. The #1 thing I like is the Pages feature, wherein you can have shit you put up that isn’t exactly blog-like, but it makes it more general. But WordPress isn’t quite as customizable as Blogger, in terms of the template. But it works for me. For now.

One day, I’ll buy a damn domain and be able to do whatever the fuck I want.

20 Questions

New era, new blog, new stuff.

No more video.

So let’s get going.

FAQ

1. So Where You Been?
Minneapolis, mostly.

2. Ok, dick, why haven’t you been blogging?
Well, that’s the interesting part. It started with the last Omega Wolf show, which made me crazy busy, so I only blogged to tell you to come to it. Then, I took a week or so to relax, regain my bearings, gearing up to blog again, when I got fired from my job. So that was a crappy day. It was a crappy weekend, actually. Since then, I’ve been a bit too depressy to blog.

3. Why did you get fired?
Spending too much time on the internet.

4. Seriously?
Well, that’s what they told me. However, I’d say that’s only part of the story. Back in January, I signed a ‘performance improvement plan’ saying that I’d stop going on the internet at work, and I’d fix 3-4 bugs a month. The following month I fixed 7 bugs, but continued to go on the internet, albeit more sparingly. However, since they were tracking my internet usage, any amount greater than 0 was considered a breach, and they canned me. Hm. So this seems a bit unfair. But I hardly fit in at work, and really didn’t like any of my coworkers, and I had an authority problem, by which I mean I called out one of my supervisors whenever he was wrong (which was often, to be fair) tactlessly, which was extremely stupid on my part. But none of that is quantifiable, but internet usage is.

5. Why were you on the internet so much?
Like I said, I didn’t get along with my coworkers. I ate lunch by myself, at my desk, and I looked stuff up. And these guys were taking hour-long lunch breaks. Then they would play ping-pong once or twice an afternoon. So I would go on breaks, at my desk. But this looks unproductive, whereas being away from your desk doesn’t look as unproductive, because an empty cubicle looks like you’re off doing something important. Plus, work was very tedious and monotonous, and I’d get bored quickly, and then I’d go spend a few minutes looking shit up.

6. So what have you been doing since then?
The first thing I did was go home and watch cartoons for several hours, then I got sloppy drunk. A couple of weeks later, I went and visited my parents for a week, and a couple of weeks after that, I went on a road trip to New York and DC with my friend Jesse. Since then, I’ve been looking for various jobs in coffee shops and restaurants.

7. Wait– why aren’t you looking for a computer job?
I guess I just don’t think it’s for me anymore. I worked in computers, and I kinda hated it. I don’t like corporate culture. I found very few people who I worked with who I enjoyed spending any amount of time with. I mean, I enjoy the work, but not the life. I don’t want to do that anymore.

8. Then what do you want to do?
I want to write.

9. Huh? Where’d that come from?
The most satisfying thing I’ve done since graduating from college has been to start a comedy troupe, turn it into a theater company, and write stuff. So that’s what I want to do.

10. Why weren’t you interested in that in college, and get a degree in English or something other than Math and Computer Science?
I was, but…I don’t know. I was good at math. And I was good at CS. And I liked them. And I got on that path, and I stuck to it. Making a decision to follow a framework while within that framework is so completely natural that looking back I would have wanted to take more classes along those lines, but I didn’t because I was behind in the major that I had practically chosen my senior year of high school, and then I ended up adding on another major, so my schedule was pretty set very early on. And I completely forgot how much I wanted to create, because I was driving and being driven toward a tech degree. And I don’t think I had any encouragement toward doing anything else, but I also don’t think I showed much interest. It’s how the system works, I think.

11. And now you’re all anti-establishment?
Sure.

12. Ok. So why do you want to work a shitty job when you can write while you have a tech job?
Having a tech job is so career-oriented that it makes what you’re doing seem like the most important thing in the world. I was worried about how the project was going two weeks after they fired me. Seriously. It’s something you start doing, and keep doing until you retire. Writing would have been a hobby, with no actual desire behind it– a cute way to pass the time. But if I’m doing something I don’t want to do for the rest of my life, it’s a different story. Then writing is what I do, and I go to work because I have to. It’s about creating a frame of mind to motivate myself. These are things I don’t say in job interviews.

13. So, um, why haven’t you gotten a job yet?
I don’t know. Shit luck. I’m scary and Mexican-looking. I was getting really depressed for a while. I reached a point where if I didn’t get a job soon, I would have to move in with my parents, which is incredibly frightening for a number of reasons. Mostly the fact that they live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, and job prospects are slim, at best. And I have no friends there. Luckily, I got a job.

14. Oh, where?
It’s called Panchero’s Mexican Grill. It’s in Bloomington. It’s this chain restaurant, like Chipotle. Counter-service burritos ‘n’ shit.

15. What are you doing?
Everyone who works there does everything. So I’ll be doing prep cooking, serving, cashiering, cleaning toilets, etc.

16. Did they hire you because they thought you were Mexican?
Seriously, stop asking that. Everyone asks me that. My name is Matty Tucker. I’m clearly of some form of Anglo descent. I speak without an accent. I don’t think they hired me because of my skin color. So there.

17. Sorry. Jeez. So, um, what are you writing?
I’ve got a few things. I’ve got a couple of short stories I’m working on. They’re funny sci-fi/fantasy stories. I’m writing a short film. It’s a comedy-horror. My long-term goal is to write a novel. I’ve started researching on a topic I want to write about. It’s a straightforward sci-fi story. Cyberpunk, I guess. But the main thing I’m writing right now is a dark comedy play that I’d eventually like to turn into a feature-length film. It has nothing to do with sci-fi.

18. So can you tell me any more about any of your writing projects?
Not right now.

19. Fair enough. What else have you been up to this summer?
Well, I got into Karaoke after popping my karaoke cherry at a wedding after-party in DC. I’ve been playing on a kickball team. We came in 11th out of 12 in the league. I was on a team that won our division in the Aquatennial Sand Sculpture Competition. I’ve been drinking a lot, wrote two sketches for the upcoming Omega Wolf show (details forthcoming), watching movies. And I’ve got some combo between a mohawk and a mullet that I really like. And I’m clean-shaven for the first time since college. Oh, and I’ve been working on this dance mix in Garageband.

20. Anything else?
I’m glad to be blogging again. That’s handy. Check out the mix I’m working on (it’s an mp3), in the Music Section. I hope to actually update this thing regularly.